It's been 3 months and it seems like it should be plenty time to move on but I am still just as sensitive as when I first found out, if not, more. I try to avoid watching movies with death and drugs because of the places it leads my mind to. And everyone is right, what was ailing you is no longer ailing you. You're resting finally, and it's come to ail me. Well, it will not lead me in the same direction, but instead it is helping me understand you better (I think).

I've started the REAL meds - lorazepam. The wimpy zoloft wasn't doing anything for me, and I needed quick relief before I just shut down. Hopefully this will be the only medicine I need. Still taking the zoloft, and the ambien. But it's the therapy that I find tough...thinking about things that bring back those uncomfortable feelings and having to face them in order to push through them. So that one day I don't need medication

Enough for tonight - ambien is taking over. I'll close with the fact that I have an AWESOME Husband and I love him so much and I am so thankful for him supporting me through my tough times.